the rye bread conspiracy

there is something that irritates me no end: i can’t find the bread i prefer for breakfast without a) riding my bike into another part of town b) paying more than the average price for bread and c) doing this first thing in the morning or the shelf will be empty.

my first choice for a healthy bread is sourdough whole-meal rye bread. nothing really exotic in germany, in fact it’s a very old traditional german thing. i have discovered my atopic dermatitis gets worse if i have a lot of wheat, so that’s why i’d rather stick to rye.

now, “regular” bakeries (meaning these little chain stores of the three or four leading bakery chains that have by now almost killed off all the little independent bakeries) usually don’t sell whole-meal rye bread. they have “regular” rye bread, or thanks to the health food craze you can get whole-wheat bread, either with or without sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, whole grains, oat bran or whatever, all bearing fancy healthy-bread names, but it’s impossible to get whole-meal rye bread, except at a health food store.

the next health food store is only one mile away from me, so i go there by bike. all the others require a car, bus or tram ride which would exalt the bread price to unreasonable proportions. not that the bread at the health food store isn’t already exorbitantly expensive, but if it’s healthy and made with happy grains i’m willing to pay that. but not the tram ride. much less would i want to poison my environment with my exhaust fumes for a healthy bread (now that would be absurd).

the location of the health food store — which not only carries one, but three types of whole grain rye bread — almost coincides with my route to the pool, so on mondays and wednesdays i try to pick up a nice loaf of bread on my way back (if i’d pick it up on my way to the pool i’d have to put it in my locker with my swim gear and that would either leave my towel smelling of fresh sourdough rye bread or my bread smelling of chlorine or both. i don’t want either).

so, when i get to the health food store at about 2:30pm, i’m lucky if i find one sad and lost-looking rye bread on the shelf. one time out of three the rye bread is gone. all the other shelves are stacked with mountains of whole-wheat bread, only the rye is gone. there must be a huge demand in whole-meal rye bread. then why do those idiot unapt inexpert health food freaks order only so little of it? i don’t get it.
and it’s not only “my” health food store. if i happen to be in another part of town, or even another town, and see a health food store i try to get my bread there. if it’s after noon, chances are slim i will get one. there seems to be a nationwide rye bread conspiracy. i’m probably registered as a potential terrorist by now because i try to buy whole-meal rye bread twice a week. is that what terrorists usually eat?

or maybe i’m starting to imagine things. i most certainly am. must be the rye bread withdrawal.

~ by bine on April 8, 2008.